I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I will be naked everywhere
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
