the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
