I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
