She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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