smell my finger.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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