She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
