so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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