Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You left your phone here
Wait...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
