Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
