did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
