you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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