She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Drunk is not a location!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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