Do you still have your period?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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