I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
