well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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