Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
