overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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