yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
