Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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