Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
