you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
