Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
