i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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