Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
