He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
