We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
