If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
