His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
