whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
