...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
