belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So much Jack, so little girl.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
