Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
