I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Randomize
