Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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