id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
