But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
