I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
