its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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