1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
