we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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