I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
