Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Can you repeat that, but with context?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
