we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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