I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
