you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
