Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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