Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
ttyl tear gas
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
