I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
