I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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