I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
