I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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